Hindsight 2020 or looking ahead

Hindsight 2020 or looking ahead

     This year has been one I have struggled through quite a bit. I really thought we could get a great start on so much and really make things work for us. Wow how wrong was I on so many accounts. See we ended 2018 with a partial roof and all the materials to get it finished in the next year.  Finishing up that school year was one thing that was one thing that kept me from getting things done, by the time I got home I was too tired. By the time spring got here the temperatures seemed to be unbearable close to 100 degrees every day, on the bright side my husband finally got the back surgery he dearly needed. That was another setback.  Once school started this year I had chosen to accompany a student to Atlanta every day for several months and didn’t get home sometimes till 6 or 7 o’clock in the evening.

     In between times we had several litters of pigs and sold a few and lost a few, including our dear goats. Sad that this area has a he population of stray dogs that get dropped off and take a toll on the farmer that work so hard for their animals stock. We are expecting babies any day now. We have had a good share of eggs and no chickens were lost and the guineas are fully grown new and will be laying in the upcoming spring.

     We have had family setbacks, aging parent and big decisions to make for my side of things. My youngest sister has taken my mother in and is caring for her these days. That is a blessing on my part since mom really didn’t want to spend the time with us. I thank my sister from the bottom of my heart. The newest arrival on my husband side of the family is my step daughter and her precious Willow. That is exciting in itself. We would love many more but as it stands now no more babies for us.

     Now comes the hard part to deal with, I quit my job due to over stress and disagreements and I have been searching for a new job. It is very hard for me to think about this because sometimes I feel like I should not have quit, but my health and mental being was far more important for me than continuing to work under those conditions. This was a hard decision to make because I am the head of household since my husband is on disability, and the more I made the less his check was. He seems to make it tough on me at times because I just can’t function on the level I did before and that sends me deeper into depression.  The holidays and shorter days make things that much more excruciating for me. Not that we celebrate but that family members don’t think we exist towards the end of the year because they are off doing their thing with their families.

     I bought a car this summer and I was so happy we could now have our own freedom to go which hadn’t happened in so many years. But that lasted only a few months and my clutch went out. I was having to be carted around again and that meant back and forth to work, which was a lot farther than just going to school and back. I hate being a burden. Now it seems that is all I am.

     Here we are at the very end of the year once again and decisions of so much has fallen upon my shoulders to find a new job and that has been hard being I am soon to turn 60 and really no true experience of any sort. I just want to go back to serving my time as a full time pioneer* but someone has to make the bills. I get thousands of jobs in emails, but only a few have called or answered back. For now I just pray things will be better in 2020. Hindsight I have learned a lot of hard lessons. I have gained a lot of self-control. I have learned to humble myself and to except things that I cannot change. I am working on changing things even more by simplifying and ridding the things that no longer work for me. As for the roof and this house time will tell. Lots of buckets, a good mop and prayers keep things going there. Maybe 2020 will give me that much. Who knows? I can only hope for the best for all of us. That is where my hope and prayers keep me from going over the edge.  To 2020!

*Door to door service for Jehovah Witnesses

Happy, Thankful and Hopeful Putting My Heart on My Sleeve.

 Wow, you know it has been almost 30 years now since my husband and I met and got married. We have been blessed with more than we could have ever hoped for too. See my best friend Laurie made me, drug me to meet Tom and I am so glad she was so persistent. It truly was love at first sight. Somehow she knew that too. She would be so happy to know that we have lasted this long and will be together forever. She passed away a few years back.

Tom and I have endured through many things: past relationships, adoptions, new homes, being run out of town, Tom being thrown in jail several times, Losing custody of a child, getting to know a child, fostering one too. We lost jobs and cars and homes. I have been disowned and he kept me going, lost family gained family  have many grandchildren, but the best thing we have done in our life was to make the truth our own. Jehovah our God. We have been Jehovah’s Witness for almost 30 years as unbaptized and baptized witnesses. We could not have endured threw all we have gone through if we didn’t have god on our side and three cords in our marriage. Studying the bible was the best thing we could have ever done. I just wished I had become what I am today long before that. But I can neither change the past nor would I ever.

See my life was more than a major hurricane. I was far from anything anyone would really care to deal with. I had done things I should have never done like 2 abortions and I lost one child, I have affairs, tried to take my own life several times and I had one child that never knew her real father, and three that had their father but finally gave them up for my husband to adopt. Had two failed marriages, I did drugs and drank too much at times, I was raped and molested and my life was more than I could take and on top of that I was always told I would never amount to anything.

Tom was there to help me every step of the way. He was my strength alongside of Jehovah. I cannot thank my dear friend Laurie enough for dragging me to meet such a wonderful and loving man as I found in Tom. Yes I can put it out there because I know I am so much better now than I could have been if I never opened the door for the two sisters that came to see me weekly. Tom didn’t take long to end his search for the true either. We got married three weeks after our first date. We were baptized in 1994 together and we raised our children in the truth. But now I have the pain of knowing I may lose them permanently to the world. A mother can only pray that they will return to it before it is too late. I have the most beautiful grandchildren and they mean more than anyone could ever know. Surviving together can only be my icing on my cake. As for my dearest friend Laurie, I have the hope and faith that we will soon be united when the resurrection comes along with my children I lost all those years ago and all our loved ones that have passed too.

I still find myself struggling and will till this old world ends. My house is falling apart more and more every day, I ended my job due to things I could never agree with, my husband is disable and our parents are getting older and need us. I sometimes lay in bed all night praying for things to change faster than they have but what would happen if my children don’t come home and the end comes. These are the things I think about day in and day out. I don’t care if my house falls in around me if I don’t have my kids and grandchildren and Tom it just seems all for nothing. But I know no matter how bad things get I have Jehovah on my side and that is all I need to truly survive. Without him in my live I would have, wow I may not even be here today. But I have more than I need and I have my health and my hubby. Life is what it is and I would not change it because I changed when I put on that new personality all those years ago. That suits me just fine. I am thankful for all those year, through good and bad happy and sad I know things will be just fine. Jehovah has promised me that.

When that time comes and I can be invited to meet all those loved ones in the time when Jesus calls them back, there will be no more dysfunction in my world it will all be functional and loving , never seeing the pain again. Happy are those who call upon the name of Jehovah, for he will bring us back to that garden of Eden and there will be no more death sickens, wars and so much more gone forever here on earth.  Rev 21:3-4 

I hope you all find peace and love in the coming year as I have. I will continue to pray for all to join us before the last of the last days.  

October was a Hard Month and Better Futures

      We have recently had dogs come up on our property again. This time was more than devastating because they had found their way into our hog pen. We had our  two goats in with the hogs. The dogs or dog that was caught in the pen had killed our female goat Cloe,  and maimed our male goat Jacob on his back leg. My husband did manage to put the dog down as there is no law or department for removing strays in our county and the sheriff's department gave us the go ahead.

     We tried to save Jacobs leg but it was too mangled and we did not see it was a humane thing to keep him alive in pain and crippled as he was. Our son in law helped to take care of putting him down and burying him. I hated to have to make such an awful decision but we had no choice. Both goats were pets.

    I hate that so many people feel like the country is the place to dump off their stray dogs. We always seem to find them on our property and ending up killing our animals. On a happier note we did rescue a Chihuahua on the way home from my students house. Someone had dumped two off but one did not make it so fortunately.  We asked the neighbors there if it was someones in the neighborhood and that was when we found out there had been two. He is a chocolate and tan older guy. When we picked him up and he was disoriented and very dehydrated. We got him home and fed and watered him, gave him some silver water and walked him. Later he was sitting with my husband and started to have seizures.
He has two as far as we could tell. After a good night of rest he still survived and after a few days he was acting much more like a well dog again. We named him Coco Loco. Now he is a spoiled rotten baby that gets covered up in the chair beside me and acts like a young man now. He loves the attention and the g kids love him too. We also have two new kittens.

    We have begun to cull out the hogs and have food for the winter. I actually helped to dress my first hog. What a job I have still got to grind up the extras for sausage. I might do that tomorrow. At least  I know we will be eating good for a while. We have two more left to dress and one will go to my student's family. In the mean time I made up a few pies, pumpkin and caramel and an apple one. Today my g kids made chocolate cookies and oatmeal ones too. We love to bake here.
   
       I have finished up at the Marcus Center this week and am back at my school. It was a sad to have to leave, but I learned so much and have a whole new perspective on how to teach and deal with Autism. When I got back to my school I was asked to join the Special Education Behavioral team.  This entails getting certified as a registered behavior technician. This will be something I will have to study hard for the exam. I feel very honored and blessed to be asked to join this team.I feel like the blessing will be continued on for many other students and will help other teachers who have students that are dealing with Autism in their class rooms. I never expected to have this position to serve my children in such a way to help teachers also and I feel extreme happiness for this opportunity.  I have to say that Jehovah is and has been at my side through all of this.  I will miss my new found family at the Marcus  Center , but will go to visit when I get a chance.

     We have been blessed with a beautiful new  baby g daughter Willow, Oct 23, and we couldn't be prouder of our daughter Kelly. Despite losses of the month we had more blessing to be thankful for. Here's to new beginnings, and a new month.

Autism: Something that has Taken Our Children

Autism: Something that has Taken Our Children

     As many of you know I have been working at the Marcus Autism Center (M.A.C.) in Atlanta. It has opened my eyes to see we have more than just a small amount of children affected by this problem. It doesn’t pick a color or race size or background, it is like a cancer taking so many of our beautiful children away from us. Yet we can have a little bit of hope.

     I have been working with everyone there in my small classroom. These folks are the most loving and happy bunch of people I have ever worked with in a classroom situation. They are training our children to see the positive things in life, as they have enough negative issues in their lives already. Yes, it is a rigorous and sometimes seemingly a bit crazy experience, but when you see these training techniques truly work, you begin to see the most amazing things happen. Change in, traits that someone untrained would never think could ever work.

     Training is not just for children, but also all family members, paraprofessionals and caregivers and teachers. This school is one of the only schools on the USA that specializes in the spectrum. I have met many people, from all over the place and this is not just a week training but they start children out at as early as three years old, and serve them all the way up to the age of 22. They are highly trained and have Doctors and Specialists on their team.  There are many young people sharing their love and skills with each of these children on a daily basis. These folks have degrees that continue on as they train too. If it wasn’t so far I would join them.

     I am so happy to be a part of this training and they make me feel so right at home, so much so that I wish my training days would not end. I feel so wanted and loved. I have learned so much, and to be able to go back and help others as I continue to work at the school in East Jackson I hope gives me a greater joy to help them.

     

If you have a child that has been taken by autism I would recommend this wonderful school for every parent, school or caregiver. It gives a great piece of mind and hope for all discouraged. Please do some research and see for yourself. There truly is hope.

Tearing Down the Barn!

     I know that everyone has heard of the three little pigs and how the wolf blew their houses down but now I have a story about the 23 pigs who tore the barn down. We had all but one pig penned up in the right side of the barn yard with a couple of goats and one pig is that pig was earlier terrorizing my yard and gardens ended up in the left side of the barn in that pen. We have 12 new pigs that have been born this year and we are back to having them run the yard because they are small enough to go through the fence. They have also dug their way under the barn walls to go from one pen to the other.

Broken Barn Wall

     Today the hubby calls me on his way down the drive telling me he doesn't see any pigs in the right side pen and would I check it out. Sure I tell him. When I got down there all of the pigs had moved from one side of the barn to the other. They had up rooted a board that was dividing the two sides of the barn and broke the corner off so they can move freely between the two pens. In the meantime one of the bigger baby pigs had once again got its head caught under the gate and was stuck there. (You would think they would learn after doing it yesterday.) I lifted the gate to let him loose and he took off to the other side of the pen. I know our barn is in need of an overhaul because these guys are so destructive. Just another thing needing to be done here on the farm. This is what pigs do tear up and mud up.

My big boy Jamie  now he could tear up some mud!

Left side of barn 

Right side of barn

     Meanwhile, I cleared all the lambs quarters weed out from around the pen and fed it to the pigs until feeding time. That seemed to make them happy. I sure hope they can make it for a little longer so we can get the pasture electric fence  restored from the goats and donkeys so we can put them out there for the fall. We might not have a barn at the rate they are going.

     Next time we will talk about this little pig went to market.

Thankful

Hey guys,

     As you all may know by my post that I am proud to be one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. I have been studying for almost 30 years now and trying to do my part as a minister to send out the “Good News of the Coming New Earth and Heavenly Kingdom of HIS Son Christ Jesus.

     Today I want to let you all know that I would have not been in the place I am today if I had not found the truth all those years ago. I am thankful to be alive and serving such a wonderful God as Jehovah. He has seen me through many hard times and giving me many happy memories of the past. I have been blessed with a wonderful family 3 girls and 2 boys, and soon to have the 7^th grandchild arrive. I have a wonderful husband of almost 30 years and a roof over my head and a job, and a small farm, not to mention my health and wonderful friends in the truth. What more can I ask for?

     I pray for my children every day that they too can find true happiness and serve alongside of Thomas and me one of these days. These are the things that make life good; family, one united in the truth and loving one another.  I would love to share my Godly Devotion with all of you in this time as we all see that this wicked system we are living in proves we are living in the last days as stated at Chapter 24 of Matthew. It is not too late to say you too will join the meek one of the earth (Ps 37:11).

Today and always I am thankful for all I have. I hope you also find this happiness in your life.

More Expansion on the Farm

Piglets 

Rock path

     We brought home a trio of Buff Opingtons and five Guineas yesterday. To add to the chickens. We lost a few chickens early on this year so we figured it wouldn’t hurt to add a few back. The guineas will be the new alarm system for the barn, and maybe even eat a few fire ants.

Buff

     I have finally got the yard mowed. I have been dealing with the electric company cutting trees and taking down and putting up poles for the last several days. I found three black rat snake eggs while I was mowing. I put them safely into a bucket to see if they will hatch. I don’t want them near the barn but I don’t mind them on the property as they will eat the rats that may find their way up the hill or the copperheads that we really don’t want to encounter at all.

     I paved my garden paths with flat stones to keep grass from taking over and I cleaned out the pond and filled it so that we can put some gold fish in it this year.

     The grand kids are here for a visit and to share in the excitement of the new baby pigs. They lost theirs last year to a dog pack and I told them they could come pick out a new one to keep and train.

Grace is practicing her guitar and Nan has been drawing. I guess they don’t miss the swimming so far but we are definitely going to have to get moving on the frame exchange so we can swim again soon.

     I surprised that darn pig that has been running the yard since birth yesterday. He was in the other pen when we came home and I closed the gate real quick so he can’t get out anymore! Ha. I saved him for a few more days at least because he was going to be slaughter this week. He can live in that pen for a while.  My baby pigs are doing great they are in and out of the barn all day long. The males will be cut soon and once they are weaned six of them will already be going to a new home.

     

The electric company left the poles for us they switched out and will be dropping off any of the others they might have just to keep from hauling them back with them. We will be using them for a pole barn.

Little Surprise

        Went down to the barn today to water the plants I just potted up and found some small arrivals in the barn. Lucy, my family pig had giving birth to 9 baby piglets. She must have been in the process of giving birth when I first counted because there were only 7 when I was there the first time. I came back up to the house and watered plants in the front yard garden then came in to let  my hubby know we had newcomers to the barn. When he went down he found 2 more, one must have not made it, possibly rolled on, and the other still in half way in the birth sack.  The runt is a survivor. I am certain that there will be a few more births before this week is out as we have a few more mommas ready to deliver. The heat is going to be a big player in how many make it this time because it is so darn hot. I keep the mud hole filled and the waterer too I just hope that is enough. I am so glad the barn was opened.

Up on the Farm

     Summer feels like it is here already. Temperatures are soaring into the upper 80’ and even the upper 90’s. I finally got all my herbs all planted, some in pots and some in the gardens. I have moved some flat rock into the garden paths to keep the grass from taking over this year.

The pool we bought in 2017 has not survived as it was supposed to. The poles have all succumbed to a bad case of rust.  We had a warranty for it so we received new ones and we are going to spray each piece with a good sealing paint. The bad part about it is that we are going to have to tear the whole thing down to change it out.  Ugh!

This is the sign my daughter made us for the farm!

     

     We had the electric company out this week to cut down trees in the yard that will or could have an ill effect on their lines in case of storms again. They butchered the trees too. I have to clean up their mess in order to mow the yard. I started the same day they came and something happened to the mower so my Hubby has to tear it down and fix it.

     The kittens we have need to find homes as they are taking over the whole house. We have 5 boys; all orange tigers and 3 girls, one grey tiger and 2 black calico. I would love to find forever homes for them all. As far as pigs go we have to burn the grass around all the fence to have the electric moving through them again so they can graze all summer. We may be making a bigger pasture for them in the process.

     We will be starting back on the framing of the house this weekend also. We definitely have our work cut out for us and it is just the two of us. No one ever said that farmers have it easy. There is always something to be done.  

Endings and Beginnings

     Classes have come to their end as of tomorrow. Summer break begins. First things first, I have to find homes for 7 kittens before long, they are all over the place now. We will be commencing to continue on our house remodel. I feel like it is and will be a never ending project. We will just be getting started and the love of my life will be going to have his back surgery. By the time he is healed enough to get back to it, it will be just about time to go back to school.
     We are expecting piglets again this year. This means a lot of work preparing for them will take place too. We have a few that we will be slaughtering this next weekend for our refrigerator and for my son's boss for a summer bbq. These  are the ones that have escaped and we can't catch .
     My garden did not get to be as big as I would have liked to do, only because those pigs that have escaped have been up rooting everything their noses can up root and then some. I have all my trees and house plants fenced in for that very reason. I just hope that the temperatures will not keep me from planting all my herbs and flowers once we do slaughter. I have a whole herbal garden that I wanted to have already growing too.
   

Garden Time Again

     I started my garden yesterday. We bought several bags of organic garden soil to fill up raised beds. Just put the lettuce, arugula, and kale seeds in. they can withstand the freeze we might have, it got to 27 last night again. I did manage to plant spinach, swiss chard, turnips, radishes earlier and they are coming up good. We are adding some plowed rows this year because the raised beds were not near enough. This year we have to get serious about the garden.

     The 2 pigs that have been out running the property have almost destroyed my herb garden up at the house. I have saved a few hostas, my angel trumpets, a few strawberry plants, my lemon balm and bee balm. That is it. I am glad I got seeds to replant. The pigs are going to become dinner sooner than they think. I bought some plants at the School’s FFA sale to add to my herbs too I bought a purple Angel Trumpet which I never seen it now and a few rosemary plants, a eucalyptus tree, and some peppermint.

     I started taking classes again I finished up one in reflexology. I am now certified to practice it. The other classes are in acupressure, one is a master class and the other is fully accredited. I can use them for my family who all have ailments of some sort. I hope to help ease their problems. I would love to go to get certified to be an acupuncturist but money is tight. Maybe in my bucket list.

January has Flown on by

      Wow can you believe we have already flown through the first month of 2019?  I can’t, seems like we haven’t even hit the end of last year! I have managed to make a plan for this year’s projects. Making a list of all the things that need to be done here on the farm and when I feel these projects should be accomplished. Weather here has not been a great thing to move forward on much of anything but making sure we have enough firewood cut as we have had some major cold days and wicked nights, Rain too. Keeping all the animals dry and warm has been crazy. Downsizing has been on my mind a great deal too. Weeding out all our unregistered pigs and having a slaughter day. We have someone who would like to have the last 6 piglets to start their own pig farm. That works for us. Starting off with a plan will keep things less crazy and easier to manage.

     We have had three piglets out running the top of the hill along with the goat. They have all but dug up the new garden area all the way around the pool and my herb garden. They have uprooted all my flowers and dug up my brick sidewalks which doesn’t make me very happy at all. I had planted hostas and hydrangeas in my herb garden and they are all gone. Knowing that the house project will be an ongoing thing for a long while, fences will be the next thing in line for priorities.

     I have already selected my seeds for this year. Adding new seeds to the ones I have saved over the last planting season. I need to replenish the soil in the boxes and maybe build a few more. There will be a fence around the garden, don’t need no critters eating my lunch.

     For the time being I have been creating crazy little tiny rooms out of stuff that would otherwise go to the garbage. I have always loved building doll house furniture and houses.  This year instead of crocheting I decided to create a tiny world here in my tiny office. Who knows one day I might have a tiny she shed to build tiny stuff for sale. I just love to create. I introduced this art to my g kids and they have tried their hand at it. Until the weather warms up enough to get out and do something that will be where you can find me.